


Not a Coward

by LynyrdSkynyrd



Category: Football RPF
Genre: La Albiceleste, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4199856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynyrdSkynyrd/pseuds/LynyrdSkynyrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kun likes to think himself as a funny, easygoing guy. But above all, he likes to believe that he is very brave. The way he plays and the way he lives is a proof of that. But one day Pablo opens his eyes and show him that he is not as brave as he would like to believe.</p><p>Or where Kun is so afraid of ruining his friendship with Leo that he never tells him his true feelings, only watching Leo being so close and touchy with Pocho from afar. But he needs to do something before he dies of jealousy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Coward

**Author's Note:**

> Finally writing my OTP and my NT aaah I hope I won't fail. This fic is a birthday gift to Leo (actually it's a gift to myself and other Kunessi shippers lol)

It is hot. Too hot for Kun's liking. Normally sunny days are his favorites but today he cannot stand anything, including sun itself. Maybe it is about him living in England for a while now or maybe it has something to do with Pocho wrapping his arms around Leo and whispering something to his ear. His best friend. Pocho is touchy with everyone, he will grab you, he will pull you closer and he will most definetely kiss you. Kun himself is like that, too. So he has no right to complain. But it is irritating when someone other than Kun himself does that to Leo. And Leo seems he is enjoying being close to Pocho like that. Leo is like their little mascot, he is small (Kun is not very tall either but Leo is really slim) and he has cute dimples and everyone likes to hug him, ruffle his hair. Then there is his unbelievable talent that makes people want to be closer to him.

Kun sits on the grass, pulling off his boots. He sees himself as a strong man, a fearless striker. He has to be one. He is playing for world class teams like Manchester City and Argentina National Team. If he fears, if he gets scared of getting kicked then he will fail to do his job. And Kun cannot afford to fail. Where would he be today without football? Without being good at football? He doesn't even want to think about that. He loves being able to give his son whatever he wants. His Benja. Kun barely sees him nowadays and he misses him so much. Gia is not a bad woman and she is not doing it on purpose. Kun is busy, too. He sighs. He remembers his relationship with Giannina during 2010. One of the most blessed and cursed years of his life. He had Benja. Argentina lost to Germany in a very bad way, Maradona ruined everything (there are rumours of him doing it on purpose but Kun doesn't believe it. Kun saw how much Maradona cared for Leo and he refuses to believe Diego would do such a thing to Leo just because he is obsessed with his title). He remembers how Leo (his roommate and best friend) covered for him when he went out to meet with Gia.

Kun's eyes stay on Leo who is laughing and joking with Pocho. Leo was always there and Kun wants him to be there. Always. This is exactly why Kun will never confess him his feelings. It will ruin everything between them.

But then something happens. Pablo does something that annoys Kun to no end.

 

 

Kun was having dinner when Javi and Pablo decided to annoy him. They take two seats next to Kun and Kun lifts his head. He was waiting for Leo (he stayed behind to take a quick shower) and he is genuinely surprised to see Pablo and Javi sitting with him. They all hang out together, of course, they were playing together for many years now and they are all very close, like a family. But they suddenly appeared next to him like they are planning something.

“Aren't they cute together?” Pablo says as he cuts his meat. Kun raises an eyebrow. What is that supposed to mean?

“Mm, yeah, I agree.” Javi says, completely focused on his plate. Kun looks at them both but they don't look at him back. And it is frustrating. What are they talking about?

“Are you talking about Eze and Pipa?” Kun points at them with his fork. Pablo looks genuinely surprised.

“What? No, why would you say that?” Kun rolls his eyes, like he doesn't know.

“Because they are fucking behind us all the time. Someone needs to tell them it's a hotel and walls are thin. We can hear everything.” Kun remembers that one time when-- Ugh.

“Oh, really?” Pablo says but he doesn't look surprised. “No, we were talking about Pocho and Leo.”

“Can you believe that?” Javi says while Kun is still in shock. “I wouldn't expect Pocho to be a great lover like that.”

“Me neither.” Pablo says, eating his rice. “He was a manwhore just last year. But suddenly he became a Romeo.” Pablo and Javi look at each other, grinning. Kun finally clears his throat, reaching his water with a shaking hand. He takes a big sip before speaking.

“What-- What do you mean? What lover?” Javi looks at him with a mysterious expression. Kun doesn't like that at all.

“Don't you know? I thought Leo would tell you.”

“Tell me what?!” Kun says a little loudly but they are frustrating him here! Why don't they just say it already?

“His.. you know, closeness with Pocho.” Javi whispers like he is giving the biggest secret in the world. He makes a weird face then turns back to his plate. Kun sits there, mouth hang open. Closeness? What a stupid word to say?

“Seriously, Javi? How the fuck old are you? 80? What is 'closeness'?” Javi rolls his eyes and turns back to Kun but Pablo acts faster.

“He means they are fucking, Kun. Understand?” He looks at Javi and raises an eyebrow. “I mean, are they fucking? I don't know that much but it's obvious that they want to.” All three of them turns their head to the door of the cafetaria. Pocho opens the door, a big smile on his face, Leo gets in after him and Pocho turns to him, they are talking about something, stupid smiles never leaving their faces. Kun's hand becomes a fist. What the actual fuck? When did that happen?

“Oh, boy.” Javi says, throwing a piece of bread into his mouth. “I don't know if they are fucking but surely they will soon.” Kun frowns at them. They don't know anything about Leo. Well, they probably do. They spent with Leo as much time as Kun but that doesn't mean they know him like that. Not the way Kun does. Because Kun knows Leo and Leo would never--

What would he never do? Fuck Pocho? Why wouldn't he? Pocho is attractive and he knows it.

Kun looks at his friends. They are getting their foods together, Pocho keeps showing Leo something and mumbles and Leo rolling his eyes, pushing Pocho away playfully. They are flirting. And Kun doesn't know why he feels so.. broken. Maybe it's because Pocho is a manwhore as Pablo said and that he will break Leo's heart and--

Now Kun is just making excuses.

“You could have it.” Pablo says out of blue. Kun looks at him, only now realizing he was staring at Leo and Pocho.

“What?”

“Do you think we are stupid?” Javi says with the same mysterious expression. Kun wants to ask him why he is acting like a novela character.

“I don't get what you mean.”

“Yeah?” Pablo says, he sounds sarcastic but his expression is serious. Too serious for Kun's liking. “You say yourself that. But don't come to us crying when Leo tells you about his perfect relationship. Just because you are a coward.” Javi and Pablo don't say anything after that. Just some little dialogues on their upcoming quarter final match. Kun is not listening them.

What was Pablo talking about?

 

 

Kun turns on the TV when he enters their hotel room, throwing himself on the matress. Leo goes straight to the bathroom, brushing his teeth. When he comes back into room, Kun is lying on his stomach, totally focused on TV. At least this is what it looks like. Because all Kun can think of is, how much he wants to ask Leo. And Kun is never good at keeping things to himself.

“So..” Kun says weirdly, clearing his throat before speaking, “I heard things.”

Leo tosses the towel back upon the counter before turning off the light. He looks confused when he looks at Kun.

“What is that supposed to mean? What things?” Kun moves uncomfortabely on the bed, finally sitting. He pretends like he is focused on TV andd paying very little attention to Leo, like it doesn't bother him at all.

“You know,” he says, shrugging, “you and Pocho.” Leo raises an eyebrow.

“What about us?” Kun wants to groan and throw a pillow at his friend. Leo is one of the smartest people he's ever met. He knows where you are going to run on the pitch before you do, he calculates everything, he is careful and plans everything like he is playing chess. But when it comes to things like that, he is oblivious. Painfully.

“You are.. close.” He says quietly. He wants to punch himself. He sounds like Javi. And why is it bothering him? He should be happy for his friend. Leo is carrying a weight that Kun cannot imagine what it feels like to face it all the time. And he wants Leo to be happy. But he wants Leo to be happy with him. Plus Pocho is a manwhore and he will hurt Leo's feelnigs eventually.

“Oh.” is all Leo says. Kun frowns at him. He was expecting more from him. He wants to push Leo to bed, punch him until he gives away every detail (well, not every detail, Kun hopes) then kiss him passionately.

“Oh? Oh what? Tell me everything.” Leo sits on his bed, untying his shoe laces.

“There is nothing to tell. We are just hanging out. Why are you disturbed by this?” Leo looks up at him under his lashes. Kun makes a face.

“Because I am your friend, idiot. Your best friend forever. I deserve to know.” Well, it's not completely a lie. Kun actually deserves to know but that's not why he wants to. Leo laughs at him for saying 'best friend forever' and Kun pouts.

“I know. If something happens, I will let you know.” Kun raises his eyebrows. Wait..

“What? What does it mean? I mean do you have feelings for him? You are waiting for him to make a move?” He asks desperately. He needs to know! (but maybe he doesn't want to becuase it could hurt him) Leo only smiles, running his hand through his hair, looking at his sheets. Kun feels like Leo punched him in the stomach. He needs to ask more but Leo gets in his bed and turns off his bedside lamp.

“Goodnight Kun.”

How is Leo expecting him to sleep well after that?!

Kun throws himself on his matress, groaning quietly before covering his face with his blanket. This tournament is not going as he imagined.

 

 

Kun waits for Leo after he finished changing. Actually Leo took a shower and changed long time ago, he is always faster than Kun, but he is outside, taking selfies with Jamaican players. Kun both find it cute and funny. But he is not blaming them, Leo has that aura, that magic that makes you want to kneel before him and worship. Kun was starstruck when he first saw Leo play. He still is, to be honest.

Kun waits another 5 minutes, playing with his phone, before Leo shows up. All others are already in the bus so it gives them freedom to walk together in peace for at least 3 minutes. Kun wraps his arm around Leo's shoulder and pulls him closer. Leo, as always, doesn't resist and leans against his best friend.

“You look tired.” Kun says quietly, they are still in the stadium and he doesn't anyone else (especially journos) to hear them. Leo looks at him sleepily but smiles. Kun thinks he is, despite soon to be 28 years old, still incredibly cute. His hair all over the place and his brown eyes half closed, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“I am fine. Just sleepy.” He says and like proving his words, he yawns. Kun sympathetically runs his hand trough his friend's hair, playing with strands. Leo works a lot. Probably more than anyone else he knows.

“Let's take you to the hotel then.” He says. “You should definetely get some rest.” In the end, Leo plays 50-60 games a season with Barça then comes back to Argentina, only to play more full 90 minutes. And Kun wants to make Leo feels better. He wants to let him sleep on his shoulder, play with his hair, tuck him in his bed and protect him from the media and all those people who want to hurt him. Because lately there are many of them.

 

 

Leo sits with Pocho though. And Kun doesn't know how he feels about this. Javier and Pablo force him to sit with Lucas and Kun wants to protest because he always sits with Leo. But Leo smiles at him like he wants to make sure it's okay and sits next to Pocho who makes a joke that Kun can't hear and makes Leo laugh softly. Kun curses quietly and poor Lucas looks at him with wide eyes. Kun smiles apologetically before taking his iPod out of his bag. He hates Pablo and Javi.

 

 

Kun decides to talk to Pocho later. It is not like Kun is a jealous boyfriend (Leo is not his boyfriend anyway), he just wants to warn Pocho because he doesn't want older man to hurt his friend's feelings. At least this is what he is telling to himself. The truth is Kun wants to know what kind of relationship Pocho wants with Leo. If Leo loves him, then Kun only wishes Pocho to feel the same way. Because if there is one person who deserves to be happy and loved, it's Leo. So when Kun catches Pocho alone in the elevator, he takes his chance.

Kun leans against elevator's wall and presses the emergancy stop button. Pocho raises an eyebrow and looks at his long term teammate.

“Are you going to punch me?” Pocho asks, smirking. He doesn't seem scared, well, he has no reason to be. Kun is a muscular guy and even though he is not very tall, there is no denying he is strong. But he is not violent and he would never hurt his friends. No matter how angry he is. Plus Pocho himself is very muscular too. He could defend himself if Kun goes mad.

Kun rolls his eyes.

“Yes, yes. Because I would definetely choose an elevator to beat you up.” Pocho laughs quietly.

“So you believe you could kick my ass?” Kun smirks at him.

“I could kick your fat ass for certain.”

“You are calling me fat?” Pocho asks playfully. “Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror?” Kun rolls his eyes.

“Look, I need to talk to you.” Pocho looks more serious now. He folds his arm over his chest and leans against the wall.

“About Leo?” Kun looks surprised but he shouldn't be. Pocho is not stupid. He probably knows why Kun wants to talk to him.

“Yes.” He says finally. “What is going on between you guys exactly?”

“Why do you care, Kun?” Pocho asks challengely. Kun narrows his eyes, not angry actually but he hates that Pocho is forcing him to say it out loud.

“You know why. He is my best friend.” Pocho laughs loudly this time.

“Seriously? You can fool Leo because he is adorably and sometimes annoyingly oblivious but you cannot fool me, my friend.” Kun is taken back by his forwardness. Pocho's words are intense but he doesn't look angry. Actually he doesn't even look bothered, almost bored. It only annoys Kun more.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Pocho looks at him with a mysterious expression which reminds Kun of Javier.

“It means you are worried that there will be something between us.” Kun feels his cheeks burning. He frowns at his friend.

“Of course. I-- I am worried because I know you are not good at relationships.” Pocho raises an eyebrow, not even moving from his spot.

“And are you? We all know how your relationship with Gia ended.” The elevator is not too big but Kun takes a step back, looks at his friend shockedly first, hands fisting in his pockets angrily.

“How dare you?!” But Pocho continues.

“Look, Kun, I love you. You are like a brother to me but if something happens between me and Leo, I don't think you have a right to complain.” He lifts his hands when Kun opens his mouth to protest, silencing him. “Do you seriously expect him to wait for you to make up your mind all his life? Are you that greedy and selfish? Don't you think Leo deserves to be loved by someone. Openly. And if you are going to be a chicken, then someone will take their chance. Me or Neymar or someone else. And then it will be too late for you.” He pulls the emergency button which means their conversation is over. Kun turns his head to other side, presses his forehead against the wall.

He hates Pocho. He hates everything he's said. He hates him for saying these things. Because deep down, Kun knows he is right.

 

 

They have a day off after that which Leo spends almost all his time with Pocho but it's okay because Kun doesn't leave his bed. Thinking about what Pocho said to him. He knows Pocho is right but there is nothing he can do. Why can't others see it?! Leo and Kun have a very special friendship and Kun would never forgive himself if he ruins it. And Kun knows Leo is shy but he's never given a sign. Kun waited and waited and waited. But nothing. Since Olympics Kun was waiting for one move, one word and he would fall on his knees. But Leo was acting like nothing more than a good friend. It was frustrating. So Kun stopped waiting, accepted that there will never be more than friendship between them. And somehow it was okay. Until Copa América 2015. Because until then, Leo wasn't showing any signs of a romantic relationship. But suddenly, he is hanging out with Pocho, laughing at his jokes, let him wrap his arms around him, kiss his neck. He lets Pocho treat him like.. Kun does. But Kun has to be the only one. Plus Pocho said he wants more than friendship. Yeah, maybe he didn't say it openly but he meant it. And now Kun is jealous. He knows it is stupid but he never imagined Leo having a relationship. Kun always thought 'yeah, it's okay he won't be with me but he won't be with anyone else either and we will best friends forever'. Now he has to share Leo with someone else and it's killing him.

 

 

“Oh, God, disgusting!” Kun almost screams when he enters Pipa and Eze's room. Because Eze is lying on top of Pipita and his hand-- Ugh.

“For fuck's sake, Kun.” Pipita says, pulling on his shorts. “Didn't your mother teach you to knock?”

“Didn't your mother teach you to lock your door before giving a handjob?” Both Pipita and Eze look at him like he is mad. Kun waves his hand in the air. “Okay, okay, bad one.”

“What do you want Kun?” Pipita asks frustratedly. His dick is still hard obviously. Kun bites back a laugh. He is not planning to leave any time soon. Kun throws himself on Eze's matress dramatically, hoping they didn't do it on this bed.

“How is this so easy for you guys?” He asks.

“What? Blowjob?” Eze asks. “I mean it's--” Kun covers his ears.

“Oh my God, of course not! I mean being together.” Eze smiles apologetically.

“You want relationship advices for you and Leo?” Pipita asks, finally sitting on the edge of his bed, his lover is next to him. Kun looks at him annoyedly.

“Why is everybody thinking it's about Leo?” Eze and Pipa look at each other, grinning.

“Please, Kun. Everybody knows you jerk off to him.”

“That's not true!” Kun almost yells but Pipa rolls his eyes.

“God, why are you two like this?” Kun seriously doesn't know. “You should talk to him, you know.” Kun knows, fuck, he knows but he is scared and he is too prideful to admit that.

“I don't know what to tell him.” He finally says slowly. Pipita's face softens.

“What about telling him you love him? Simple and easy.” Kun looks at him angrily.

“Easy? Do you think it's fucking easy? Why don't you do it yourself then?” Pipita grins at him. His hand finds Eze's, caressing his skin. Kun feels like puking.

“I did.” Kun groans. Why is his life so hard?

 

 

So according to everyone Kun should tell Leo that he loves him. But what if Leo doesn't love him back? What if it makes Leo umcomfortable? What if Leo runs away or change his room or--

Kun needs to talk to Leo. Or he will go crazy soon. Maybe he already did.

 

 

It's two days before Colombia match when Kun decides to speak to Leo. He is not sure what he is going to say but he needs to. He has to. Kun is not an idiot. He figured out that Leo and Pocho are not flirting at all. Actually, it's Leo who is not flirting with Pocho. Because Pocho shamelessly flirting with Leo but he has no bad intention. Kun knows Pocho, Pablo and Javi try to end his misery by forcing him to confess to Leo. Of course Kun could ignore them, act like nothing happened. But then Kun realized he wouldn't be the person he thinks he is. And Kun knows it is stupid to do this before an important match, he really does but it is now or never. So he waits until they both go back to their room after training to rest awhile.

“So how is that thing between you and Pocho going?” Kun ask casually. Leo is lying on his bed, playing with his phone while Kun is watching TV. At least pretends like he is. Leo lifts his head, looks at his friend surprisedly.

“Why are you keep bringing this up?” Leo asks. “Nothing going on between us.” Kun is satisfied with the answer, turning toward his friend.

“Then why are you flirting with him all the time?” He asks. Leo straightens up to glare at his friend, eyes wide.

“What are you talking about?!” Kun gets up and walks to Leo's bed, standing next to it, looking down at his friend.

“You are always with him when you should be with me.”

“Oh, really?” Leo says sarcastically. He is getting angry. “And what gives you right to decide whetever I should spend time with my other friends or not?” He looks away, not looking so angry now, maybe confused. “Seriously Kun, I don't get you nowadays.”

“Me neither.” Kun says seriously. Leo lifts his head, looking at his friend.

“What is wrong?”

“You. It's you.” Kun says but he is not mad at Leo. Leo looks taken back so Kun continues quickly. “Maybe it is not you. Maybe it is me for being a coward. But you didn't make it any easier for me. I was waiting, you know. I was waiting for you to do something, say something. Because I was always open with my feelings. Even in public. I never hide it. On the other hand you are impossible to read and I didn't know if you were sharing my feelings. The truth is, I still don't know. But I cannot do it anymore. I need to know. Pablo, Javi and Pocho opened my eyes.”

“What-- What are you saying? I don't--” Kun closes his eyes, exhaling loudly.

“I was a coward. I am sorry.” He says. He opens his eyes when Leo doesn't answer. His friend finally looking at him with those soft, familiar brown eyes. Leo reaches forward and grabs his t-shirt.

“You are not a coward.” He says strongly but softly. “I am sorry, too. You know how I am. You know me better than anyone else. I can't express my feelings. I--”

“I know.” Kun says, cupping his face between his hands. Fingers softly caressing Leo's skin. “I wish I could say it long time ago.”

“What?”

“That I love you.” Kun says, smiling like an idiot. And Leo actually blushes. Kun would normally make fun of him but not today. He leans forward and presses his lips against Leo's. Leo's hands find his hair and pulls him closer. Kun's knees hit the edge of Leo's bed and he falls on Leo, both laughing and out of breath. Leo wraps his arms around Kun and Kun rests his head against Leo's collarbone. Silence greets them for a couple of seconds. Then Kun groans, lifting his head. Leo looks at him worriedly.

“What?”

“Fuck.” Kun says. Leo's hand goes to his cheek.

“What is wrong?”

“We have a match, a tournament to win.” Kun says. Leo looks at him confusedly. “I finally have you under me but I can't even do anything because we have a game to play!” Leo half laughs, half groans and covers his eyes with his tattooed arm.

“Ugh, God. Why do I even keep up with you?” Kun grins at him.

“Because you love me.”

And Leo cannot argue with that.

 

 

Kun wakes him in the middle of the night. They fell asleep on Leo's bed after Kun gave him a blowjob (which made Leo blush when Kun looked up at him and grinned, in the end Leo burried his face in the pillow because it was still too weird).

Leo groans loudly when Kun shakes him. Leo hates to be woken up before sun rises. But Kun has something important to tell him.

“Psst, Leo.” Kun whispers, lips almost touching Leo's elf ear. Leo rubs his eyes and looks at his ~~best friend~~ boyfriend annoyedly.

“What do you want Kun?” Because if it is a blowjob (Kun was talking about how amazing it is to have a boyfriend so that you can wake them in the middle of the night if you are horny right before they fell asleep), Leo will punch him in the face. Leo loves his sleep.

Kun smiles at him and kisses his cheek.

“You know what day it is.” Leo looks at the watch at his bedside and groans. Did Kun actually wake up him for that?

“I hate you.” He says and burries his head in his pillow. Kun is lying next to him, watching with shiny eyes, full of love and admiration. There is a stupid smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, Leo.” He whispers in the darkness.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feliz cumpleaños D10S, perfecto, mi diez, MI ÍDOLO, feliz cumple al mejor de la historia del fútbol. Gracias por ser el mejor y argentino y ser tan humilde. Gracias por existir. GRACIAS POR TODO CRACK, GRACIAS POR TANTO. ¡Te amo Lionel Andrés Messi!


End file.
